Phantasmagoria

I must have imagined this night a thousand times already- just the two of us, sitting under a star studded summer sky, leaving everything else behind for some time.

I’m just happy that the time has come again, and she’s here.

“Tell me Tara, as your name goes, do you ever feel fascinated about the universe, and make up stellar stories as you look right up at the night sky?”

“Ha ha, not exactly. I don’t think much about the universe as I don’t understand it very well, but I like the beauty of a night sky. I kind of fall in love with it, you know what I mean.”

“There, look at the moon for a moment, and follow me for a trip maybe. Do you see the surface of it?”

“Yeah, just as beautiful as it should be. I’m following you.”

“No, not just beautiful. Concentrate on the surface only. Doesn’t it look like a distant physical map? All those dark patches could just be different countries or continents. Just like the pictures of Earth taken from Moon.”

“Yes, you’re right. And the white shining part could be the oceans? Is that what you mean?”

“Now imagine, as we look at it, it’s more than three hundred thousand kilometres away from us. But there have been people who’ve landed on it, and stayed there for a while. Imagine what life would be like up there!”

“Sigh! I now regret my degree in Biology. I wish I could just step on it for a moment to find out. Astronaut Tara heading out for the Moon. Ha ha ha!”

“A moment wouldn’t be enough for me. I could stay there for days, but then I might feel abandoned.”

“It must be lonely up there. Am I right?”

“Yes, now look at that star. That brighter one up there.”

“Yes, I feel like I’m looking at myself.”

“You know it is light years away from us.”

“Yeah, like light would take years to reach over there, and we would take a little longer maybe.”

“Don’t even think…. Now look at that one, near that tower right in front of us. Another few light years away from us. Both these stars could be a few more light years apart from each other. And yet we can see them.”

“What’s the point?”

“The point is, the way I look at it, the universe itself is almost hundred percent filled with loneliness. Loneliness stretching far, far away that it just wouldn’t end. And we’re here, perfectly placed at this one point in the universe, where we could have a social life. I could sit next to you, and there’s air so that we could hear each other. Probability, right?”

“That’s really fascinating I must say, Ved.”

“And when we come back to this Earth, Tara, it’s not a bad place either. People make us feel alive to the moments, and if we have enough opportunities to thank them, we must give it back when they need it…….. I’ve waited long for this night and I never ran out of hope. I knew you would come. So it’s just my opportunity to thank you, and give it back to you.”

“Don’t thank me, Ved. I always knew you were gifted, and I’m just lucky to be your friend. I’m lucky to be here tonight. I’m sorry that I kept you waiting for so long. You’ve been lonely for years while I wasn’t doing anything great either. Now it feels like I’ve been lonelier than you’ve even been, just because I was away from you.”

“No Tara, we are here for a reason, surely not to regret anything. But you know, it wasn’t always the same. I mean loneliness; sometimes I was okay with it. I’d spend hours looking at the sky, scribbling down something every now and then, but then, after a while, I would hate it. I would miss you, I would miss my brothers, my cousins, and I would miss everyone I know. I’d feel like I’m standing on the moon, and it’s empty all around. But tonight Tara, I’m the happiest person in the entire universe. My happiness is with you. I’m happy that you came. This night is all I have to feel lucky about.”

Maybe this wasn’t just a dream. I felt so lost in it, that it seemed like light was getting in through every single crack in my soul.

It’s a new day, a new morning, and I hope to see her again.

I love you, Tara. Come back soon.